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Type 4

I'm the only one who feels this way and no one else can really understand.

The Individualist (Riso/Hudson)
The Tragic-Romantic (Palmer)
The Artist

Main theme

  • Underlying theme is a feeling of loss, abandonment, and separation
  • Deficiency feels caused by some unknown tragic flaw in the self
  • Seeks meaning and emotional depth to acquire what feels missing
  • Needs to connect personally to everything; chronically disappointed
4_enneatype

Heart - Stress

Heart Point: 1, The Reformer

-When 4 goes to 1, they cultivate left-brained objectivity
-Sustain focus on something outside of themselves
-More down-to-earth, practical, disciplined & structured
-Channels creativity/emotionality to something concrete
-Has a heightened ability at healing and creative arts

4 lines

Stress Point: 2, The Helper

-When 4 goes to 2, deny personal needs & over-accommodate
-Become overly dependent on someone to save them
-At the same time, becomes resentful of the rescuing other
-Feels needy; become manipulative to garner love/attention
-Tries to win others over; becomes more possessive of partner

Tips

How to get along with me...

  • Validate my emotional reality and my pain
  • Don't insinuate I’m crazy or unreasonable
  • Give me space to process when I'm spiraling
  • Don't brag or boast to me, I'll get jealous
  • Never say, "Why can't you be more like..."
  • Help me set aside time for my creativity
  • Remind me what I do well; compliment me
  • Tell me why I'm special to you, be specific
  • Don't go into problem solving mode with me
  • I don't want to do small talk, I want meaning
  • Remind me to be kind and gentle to myself
  • Take my intuitive sense of things seriously
  • Tell me you’re here to stay, keep commitments

At Work:

  • Assets - Relational, adaptable & creative
  • Not driven by money, can think abstractly
  • Keen eye for beauty; can have sudden insight
  • Highly aware of human needs/relationships
  • Able to be both empathic and analytical
  • Prioritizes excellence & authentic expression
  • Work is enhanced by search for value/meaning
  • Challenges - Watch for unnecessary caretaking
  • Be cautious with negative emotional reactions
  • Find or create value in work that isn't ideal
  • Take things less personally; be more pragmatic
  • Balance over-involvement/withdrawal cycle
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